Should Have



I remember standing above you
Playing witness to your pain
How could you endure?
The misery frozen in your eyes
Beautiful daggers of despair that haunt me still
The tranquility of the night echoes within me
A surreal nightmare that will never end
My heart cries out when I am alone
Yet, I must silence the anguish
Our secret must remain safe
Or your sacrifice will be for naught
At times, the remorse challenges my resolve
Slicing through my soul
Filling my void with darkness
An unexplainable emptiness that wears on my façade
Shredding the fabric of what was
Destroying what could have been
Or sadly, should have been

The images remain so vivid
A spiraling visage of my hopelessness
The knife sliding across your throat
The river of sadness that flowed from your veins
The lone tear drying on your pale skin
Although I am older now, my tears will never dry
Just as my life will never be the same
Our love was my foundation
Shaping all that I was
Who I am
What I have become
Deep inside the turmoil rages
Surrounded by my penitence and sorrow
I am lost without you, without your touch
I often wonder if you will forgive me when we meet again
Why was it my hand on the knife?
Why was I afraid of the pain?
Questions that remain a just punishment for my failure
A life sentence of desolation
My hurt for knowing I should have joined you

Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 10, 2010 at 1:21 AM

    You really strike me deep with everything you write. What exquisite darkness and torment!

    ReplyDelete

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